My Hurt Brain
LaVonya with her son Joseph during early rehabilitation after his traumatic brain injury

LaVonya's Journey

When Joseph's life changed forever, mine did too.

On November 27, 2017, a single phone call changed our family forever. What followed became a journey of survival, rehabilitation, grief, faith, advocacy, and unconditional love.

A journey through traumatic brain injury, grief, faith, advocacy, caregiving, resilience, and unconditional love.

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LaVonya's Journey

On November 27, 2017, my life changed forever after receiving the devastating phone call that my son Joseph had been involved in a serious car accident. At the time, I was living in Houston, Texas, while Joseph had recently moved back home to Pine Bluff, Arkansas only a few months earlier.

The moment I received the call, I immediately got on the highway and drove to Arkansas. When I arrived at UAMS in Little Rock, Arkansas, we were given the worst-case scenario regarding Joseph's condition. But through faith, prayer, and God's grace, Joseph survived.

What followed was a journey filled with hospitals, rehabilitation, grief, setbacks, exhaustion, faith, perseverance, and unconditional love.

The Journey

A timeline of survival, faith, and love

Chapter 1

The Beginning of Recovery

Joseph was first transferred to Baptist Health inpatient rehabilitation after leaving the hospital. At that time, he still could not speak or move his body independently, but with the assistance of physical therapists, he slowly began taking small steps.

He later underwent surgery to reconstruct the bone flap in his skull after suffering severe injuries during the accident. Even during the uncertainty, we continued to hold on to hope and faith.

“Doctors prepared us for the worst, but God had other plans.”

Chapter 2

A Difficult Setback

After surgery, Joseph was transferred to Timber Ridge in Benton, Arkansas, an inpatient neurorehabilitation facility specializing in brain injuries and cognitive conditions.

Although Joseph had started making progress physically, his condition declined significantly during his stay there. Within only 30 days, he developed severe bed sores, including a serious wound on the heel of his foot that later required additional medical treatment once I brought him to Houston.

This period became one of the most difficult parts of our journey and reinforced how important caregiver advocacy truly is.

Chapter 3

Bringing Joseph Home to Houston

After Joseph's final surgery in Arkansas, doctors released him so I could bring him back home to Houston, Texas. I cared for him at home while working through insurance approvals and fighting to get him accepted into TIRR Memorial Hermann, one of the nation's leading rehabilitation hospitals for brain injuries.

Once Joseph arrived at TIRR Memorial Hermann, the medical team immediately began intensive treatment and rehabilitation. They treated the severe wound he had developed and began helping Joseph slowly regain important daily skills.

During his stay, Joseph began relearning how to feed himself again — a milestone that brought our family hope during an incredibly difficult season.

Chapter 4

Losing My Father While Fighting for My Son

The same evening Joseph was admitted into rehabilitation in Houston, I received another life-changing phone call from my father in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. After visiting the emergency room because of severe back pain, he had just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.

I immediately packed necessities, got back on the highway, and drove to Arkansas to be by my father's side while also continuing to manage Joseph's rehabilitation from a distance.

At the same time, my youngest son was still in Houston finishing his senior year of high school, and we had been preparing for his graduation. I found myself traveling back and forth between Houston and Arkansas trying to support Joseph, care for my father, and still be present for my youngest son during one of the biggest milestones of his life.

After only one chemotherapy treatment, my father's condition rapidly declined. I watched drastic changes happen quickly — physically, emotionally, and mentally. Within a short time, he passed away.

While preparing my father's funeral and handling responsibilities as executor of his estate, I also received a call that Joseph's rehabilitation stay was ending. After laying my father to rest, I immediately drove back to Houston to continue caring for Joseph.

Advocacy

Becoming Joseph's Voice

Every step of the way, I had to become Joseph's voice.

From the very beginning, I had to advocate for my son and fight for what I believed was best for him. There were moments when medical professionals tried to convince me that Joseph should be placed into a long-term care facility.

I remember crying while explaining to them that I was taking my son home.

I told them: “You never stop being a mother just because your child's life has changed.”

I explained that even though the road ahead would be difficult, Joseph deserved to be surrounded by love, family, and people who truly cared for him.

At home, there would be love.

Eventually, they stopped trying to convince me otherwise.

But the advocacy did not stop there.

Throughout Joseph's recovery journey, I constantly had to speak for him, research for him, question medications, understand side effects, challenge decisions when something did not feel right, and make sure Joseph received the best care possible.

I learned that being a caregiver also meant becoming an advocate.

Every step of the way required strength, persistence, research, faith, and determination.

Being a caregiver meant becoming more than a mother — it meant becoming Joseph's voice when he could not speak for himself.

“You never stop being a mother just because your child's life has changed.”

Caregiver Burnout Is Real

For years after the accident, Joseph remained in a wheelchair while we continued outpatient speech, occupational, and physical therapy several days each week.

There were many moments when I felt emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. Caregiver burnout is real, and many people do not fully understand the sacrifices caregivers make every single day.

I also had to grieve the life I thought Joseph would have. Joseph was only 19 years old when the accident happened, and I had to learn how to accept a completely different future than the one I once imagined for my son.

Over time, I learned the importance of taking small moments for myself. Whether it was a short staycation, quiet time alone, or even taking a cruise with childhood friends and family, I learned that caregivers also need time to rest, heal, and breathe.

I am especially thankful for my family, including my younger sister who moved to Houston to help me care for Joseph throughout this journey.

“I had to grieve the life I thought Joseph would have and learn how to embrace our new normal.”

Recovery

Defying the Odds

Despite being told that my expectations for Joseph's recovery were unrealistic, Joseph continued proving that progress was possible.

After spending nearly three years in a wheelchair and participating in years of therapy, Joseph eventually regained the ability to walk again.

Every milestone — from feeding himself to standing, walking, and rebuilding independence — became proof that faith, perseverance, rehabilitation, and determination can make the impossible possible.

Through every challenge, setback, tear, and victory, I continue to thank God for giving us strength to keep going.

“Through faith, prayer, therapy, and perseverance, Joseph defied the odds.”

A Letter to Caregivers

To Every Caregiver Reading This…

Never give up.

Do not allow others to judge the decisions you make for yourself or your loved one. Only you truly understand the sacrifices, emotions, responsibilities, and challenges that come with caregiving.

Give yourself grace.

Take time to rest when needed.

Celebrate every small victory.

Hold on to faith and hope even during the hardest moments.

And most importantly, remember that your love, strength, and sacrifices matter more than you realize.

Although our journey has been difficult, I remain grateful that Joseph is still here. Many families have lost loved ones completely, and that perspective has taught me to remain thankful through every stage of this journey.

I refuse to give up, and I encourage every caregiver reading this to never give up either.

Support

Caregiver & Brain Injury Resources

Brain Injury Association of AmericaFamily Caregiver AllianceCaregiver Action NetworkCDC — Traumatic Brain InjuryMental Health AmericaNINDS — Neurological DisordersAmerican Stroke Association — CaregiversAARP Caregiving

See Joseph's recovery in pictures

Visit Joseph's story for before-and-after recovery photos, rehabilitation milestones, and additional moments from his journey.

Read Joseph's Story